special delivery
February 2, 2011 § Leave a comment
I have never outgrown my enchantment with the mail. Each day I look forward to the sight of our mail lady; I am eternally curious and hopeful for unknown treasures within her shoulder bag.
For some, brown paper packages are the hallmark of special deliveries. I am endeared by simple, sometimes unexpected notes. Indulgently thick card stock and whimsical pen strokes become tokens of friendship. Each message is intimate, a moment in time captured and tangible.
A letter’s author casts a sentiment into the future while the recipient reaches back gathering a moment of reflection; lives overlapping on paper. Wedding and birth announcements bring joy and celebration, drawing me into another’s exuberance. Family photos collected during the holiday season freckle my fireplace with well wishes. Thank you notes resonate as moments of gratitude and respect, gestures of appreciation.
Still, my favorites are unexpected love notes from my husband, a sentimental overture reminiscent of early correspondences when our affection stretched across miles and busy schedules weaving us into one another’s days. I am saving many of these in hopes one day they will offer our children an authentic snapshot of their parents’ love for one another. I am saving these pieces of our past in an envelope for the future.
echo
February 1, 2011 § Leave a comment
Thoughts rattle around looking for focus and creating an echo. I hear the din, but keep searching for my voice. There is a humbling challenge in trying to create something new. Whether my words resonate with another or serve a more self-indulgent purpose is a wonderful mystery. For now, I am enjoying a moment of discovery.
forecast
February 1, 2011 § Leave a comment
The weatherman is predicting a snowfall that promises a rare proclamation; anticipation builds as school children await two words yet unspoken. Snow Day. My children smile in their sleep already dreaming of icy escapades. I peer into the early morning darkness at the fine dusting of snow that holds hope for a backyard fortress of frost populated with a battery of snowmen. Inside, the pantry is stocked with cocoa and marshmallows; movies and popcorn, board games and books stand ready for indoor distractions. I savor my morning coffee and send out an early morning wish on cold winter winds for the simple joys of a Snow Day.
the ostrich
January 31, 2011 § Leave a comment
I rather like burying my head in the sand, assuming my other end is sticking in the air. Somewhere between the cleansing breaths and elongated muscles of yoga postures I forget about dirty laundry, my children’s homework, and groceries. I press comfortably and push powerfully into moments of strength. I catch a glimpse of my inner warrior and ground myself in a moment of peace. Still, my crow won’t fly, but I welcome humility and humor as old friends… and stick my head back in the sand.
puppy love
January 30, 2011 § Leave a comment
Temporary insanity, our judgement clouded by sentiment, we adopted a puppy. The homecoming was intended, but unscheduled. For years our son had begged for a canine companion. My husband and I danced around the subject avoiding a commitment by pledging One Day. Still, the calendar gave no indication that One Day was That Day.
In a moment of spontaneity I suggested to my husband we visit a local pet store with both children and attempt to identify, individually and collectively, our prerequisites for picking a puppy. Breed, adult size, personality were concepts we had yet to discuss. Logic was soon overpowered by animal attraction. One by one, we were each drawn to a crimson bundle with eager green eyes. On clumsy puppy paws she tumbled onto our laps finding a home in our hearts.
We can mark the passage of time by our pup’s stages; stuffed animals, slippers, and socks have fallen victim to teething and teasing. Errands and excursions are scheduled around our furry family member’s comfort. Guests have weathered kisses and full-contact embraces with shock and grace. Chaos is as common as cuddles and smiles as prevalent as apologies. It is, after all, a dog’s life.
Saturday morning
January 29, 2011 § Leave a comment
My children sweep their hands in lazy circles over droopy eyelids, their limbs heavy with sleep as they slowly shuffle into the kitchen. The day begins quietly, conversations percolate as I sip my morning coffee. Breakfast is a scavenger hunt for something indulgent as we settle at the table haphazardly, the family dog nestled beneath my husband’s chair. Sunlight streams in through the windows washing away the evening’s dreams and Saturday unfolds.
music
January 28, 2011 § Leave a comment
I rebel against organized religion, but find it impossible to deny the power of faith when choirs sing. In contrast, the haunting beauty of a sole voice against a backdrop of silence is no less humbling. Instrumental or vocal, I reach for the fluid language of music when lost for words. In a moment of melancholy, a melody transcends time and I am flooded with sentiment for days long past. Like a child seeking the security of a mother’s embrace, I long to crawl inside a thick, rich sound to keep sadness at bay. Music bubbles effervescently from a place within me in moments of joy; my spirit celebrating with the grace of a small child clanging pots and pans. The music is not mine, their authors are strangers to me, but their lovers are my friends.
leap
January 28, 2011 § 1 Comment
This space began as something intimate. Today, with the love of my husband and close friends I have begun the process of letting go and opening up. Deep breath… new beginning…
uninvited
January 26, 2011 § Leave a comment
Today’s challenge: stillness. There are moments when I can feel unhappiness pulling at my subconscious, taunting me with self-doubt or negativity. In response I tend to smile brighter, chase after projects more enthusiastically, increase the speed and momentum of my day in an effort to out race thoughts or feelings I am unsure of.
This morning, with moments of kindness and love gracing my daily routine, I rejected disharmony as an impostor. Still, it followed me as I walked my children to school and settled over me like the snow quietly sleeping on the ground. Irritated by the burden of my companion’s weight I grew angry and challenged this uninvited guest to say their piece. Silence.
So, today I am going to be still. I will take my spirit’s light and shine it into the dark corners of my mind and see if there is indeed a truth I have overlooked. Kindness and Patience will be my friends in stillness.
breathe
January 24, 2011 § 1 Comment
Each time I dive into a body of water, I am convinced I am going to drown. Airborne and caught between the concrete and unknown below the water’s surface I am enveloped in panic and terror. Within seconds of submersion I sputter gracelessly, fighting to surface, choking on fear and exhilarated to see daylight. My mother lays the burden of this fear at the feet of a relative who threw me into a pool as a toddler and allowed me to struggle under water for instructional purposes. The swim lesson was a singular event, largely recalled through my mother’s eyes. Those feelings however haunt me in moments outside my control and help to give voice to a larger fear… the unknown.
Restless in my relationship with fear I have grown tired of tiptoeing through my days, holding my breath in hesitation. I envy those that seem to bound through their days with heart and energy, exuding confidence and strength; warmth and loyalty; passion and persistence. I gather these spirited personalities close to me and celebrate them. In the warmth of their support I find myself testing the water, fantasizing about the perfect swan dive.
