within reach
December 12, 2011 § Leave a comment
This holiday I hung my children’s advent calendars lower on their doors, a gesture of trust and an act of faith. I heightened temptation placing tiny indulgences just within reach. I simultaneously raised the bar for good behavior.
Silly or trite, this one act is a metaphor for greater lessons. Each day I try to guide my children towards a future filled with opportunities where risk and ethics challenge them to make choices that will reward them with meaningful relationships, personal success, and emotional fulfillment. They must be able to navigate around danger mindfully, without living in fear of a mistake; secure in their own boundaries but not limited to the sidelines.
I watched bemused as my children noted the lowering of the candy and stood taller with heightened pride. The treats were always within reach, I just eliminated the need for a chair with trust.
dear santa
December 11, 2011 § Leave a comment
Last night I found my daughter curled over a piece of paper carefully composing a letter to Santa. A heartfelt Christmas wish in her careful print, punctuated with hope. Dear Santa, I would like a puppy. Our home has been empty without our four-legged friend and the vacancy has broadened into loneliness.
My daughter wakes each day eager for a playmate. Afternoon school dismissals are met with abrupt greetings followed by anxious pleas for playdates. She is the perfect candidate for a canine companion, but it is a gift I cannot give; a wish I fear will invite disappointment to accompany our Christmas morning.
I understand disappointment is a difficult and necessary experience to foster gratitude for greater blessings. Still, my heart is heavy for my daughter’s foreseeable disappointment. I repeat a gentle chorus hoping the words resonate in time: If you have everything you wish for, there is nothing left to dream of. May her dreams be greater than a singular moment of joy and her disappointments inspire paths toward possibilities.
wish lists & inspiration
December 10, 2011 § Leave a comment
Throughout the year as my children stumble across new items of interest I instruct them gently to create a wish list. To set their hopes firmly on paper so that they may return to an item and contrast it among other wishes, editing their wants with a more concrete perspective. Some items are spontaneous and fleeting, quickly forgotten and never cemented in writing. Others linger throughout seasons and inspire plans and daydreams.
As the holiday season drew near, I asked my children to consider their wish lists and share a wish with Santa and a couple wishes with family that we might all know better where their interests rest. Amusingly, lists and letters to Santa sat incomplete. My son couldn’t put a finger on a wish. My daughter shifted focus to what the rest of us might appreciate. My husband shrugged his shoulders and I could not come up with a singular suggestion for myself. We are content, as is.
With this in mind I shifted my focus from fulfilling a wish, to creating something joyful. I turned off the television and refused to allow clever advertising campaigns to cast false dreams. I began with new lists centered in recent conversations and then considered how I might inspire creativity or celebrate individual interests.
I imagined gifts that might fill Christmas day with happy surprises and activities; toys that fit into the space of my children’s days and would feel at home among old favorites; well-loved book titles and things to make rather than things already made in another’s vision. The gifts are not excessive or extravagant, but wrapping them I was filled with anticipation for my children’s reactions.
a gift of presence
December 9, 2011 § 2 Comments
In all the hustle and bustle of the holidays we sometimes lose sight of unwrapped gifts of presence. This year my daughter’s eager anticipation and awareness for the moment has created a sense of wonderment and awe that inspires me to be still.
One evening last week while returning to our quiet suburban subdivision my daughter lead me on a scavenger hunt for a special tree. Having seen the tree one evening with her father, she wanted to share the beauty of her discovery with me. We followed the curves of our neighborhood streets commenting on the lights until rounding a corner and arriving at the tree my daughter sought to share. Her joy lit her smile and we stopped to stretch the moment into a memory.
It would have been simple to drive home and forgo the search. To pass quickly nodding appreciatively. Instead we sat in the moment; marveling at the height of the tree and the endless strand of lights. I was reminded of my daughter’s eager toddler exclamations and spirited efforts to pull me from a task into play and I gave thanks for the tiny Christmas elf that still takes me by the hand and pulls me fully into a moment to gift me greater presence.
something borrowed, something new
December 4, 2011 § Leave a comment
Our family’s first Christmas traditions were borrowed from my husband’s childhood, lending familiarity and nostalgia to our home. Years later we have begun to embrace occasions to create something new among the borrowed.
We begin with the old, each year gently unpacking my husband’s collection of nutcrackers. Brightly colored, wooden forms stand sentry near the tree. A wooden advent and two smokers rest among them; each item quietly acknowledging a piece of my husband’s heritage and youth.
Our once calm tree, dusted in a blanket of tranquil white lights is now a kaleidoscope of color. The brilliance and whimsy of the lights a celebration of our children’s effervescent joy. The train circling beneath the boughs something from our earliest Christmas as a family; small signs of wear from clumsy toddler fists and little scratches stirring memories of a family pet no longer with us nestle shared memories like forgotten gifts beneath the tree.
European glass ornaments rest among handmade mementos marking the passing of time. This year my daughter stood beside me gently unpacking our decorations, pausing to marvel at the beauty of each item. I filled the seconds between discoveries sharing brief stories about the origin of each ornament as we placed them on the tree.
Tomorrow evening my children will set out their boots for St. Nicholas, a tradition of their father’s childhood. Then they will wake in search of the Elf on the Shelf, a new tradition gifted from my mother sharing in our holidays across the miles. Most recently, in the hope of celebrating our blessings and to center our spirits in a place of gratitude, I shared a new book with both children while we decorated our tree. In the pages of an old story, we found a gentle reminder that our greatest gifts are free. To share in our something new, look between the pages of Ed Mehler’s lovely holiday story The Scrawny Little Tree.
Borrowed and new the season is filled with happy memories and new celebrations as we share the company of loved ones gathered by the light of the tree.
it’s beginning to look a lot like
November 25, 2011 § 2 Comments
Christmas. Breath held, eyes closed I tiptoe nearer to a new moment. Limitless with possibilities the unknown is filled with hope and wonder. Like a child I dance in place unable to bottle the bubbling crescendo of joy. It is officially a new season of celebration.
Last night I gifted our little family a much needed moment of silliness. Candy cane striped pajamas strung on the long gangly limbs of my children inspired spontaneous nonsense set to a soundtrack of giggles. Our laughter smoothed away wrinkles of worry.
Today I woke happy for a new day and the anticipation of joy. I am ready for white lights and wish lists, make-believe and magic.
making a list, checking it twice
November 16, 2011 § Leave a comment
It’s that time of year, the air has turned cooler and the wind sends me scuttling inside after a forgotten scarf or gloves. Mother Nature gently reminds me that winter is around the corner and with it the festive busyness of Christmastime. In anticipation of familiar holiday routines, I have begun my list of things to do.
Christmas cards are the pre-season tradition I most look forward to. I have not taken the time to hand-write messages in years and while I miss the quiet, individual endeavor; I am content to label envelopes that will carry pictures of my children to family and friends. My life long love affair with mail is heightened over the holidays and I watch for the mailwoman eager to exchange a greeting and collect seasonal tidings of joy. This is the first sign of the season as I gather materials in the hopes of sending warm wishes soon after Thanksgiving.
Cookie making I save for winter break, an activity more enjoyable when shared with tiny hands. My island covered with flour and sprinkled with conversation makes for a delightful indoor activity on a cool winter’s day. An afternoon indulgence of warm baked goods and cocoa are a pleasant break from holiday errands and outdoor play. I am less traditional and entirely spontaneous when baking. Each year the cookies are predictably different from seasons past, old favorites and new samplings eclectically gathered like old friends and new in celebration.
Christmas gifting. I try to shop locally, happy to extend my errands to visit with friendly faces behind boutique counters and to window shop quaint storefronts appreciative of the festive decorations that twinkle against snow and lights. In an imperfect world the warm glow of lights and infectious good cheer of strangers makes neatly wrapped presents gifts secondary to kindness and good cheer.
The days between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve move to the soundtrack of familiar songs. I hum, accompany off-key, and twirl between activities, happy to breath in the sounds of the season. Quiet will settle only long enough for little ears to listen diligently, half asleep for the sound of stomping feet and bells on Christmas Eve.
Decking the halls and planning meals will keep my feet planted in reality while my head swims with daydreams of sugar plums. Classic holiday stories and old movies will gather my family near in restful moments of stillness balancing seasonal outings. It is a time of believing in the possibility of magic and giving thanks for the blessings of loved one’s. The greatest gifts will go unwrapped, the sweetest treats stolen moments in good company.
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