productivity & procrastination

July 28, 2011 § Leave a comment

When last we met, I had swept through my kitchen gathering recipes in preparation for busy school nights on the horizon. Enthusiasm and inspiration guided my good intentions to the pantry.  Overwhelmed and intimidated, uncertain where to start, I sought the comfort of food and the company of procrastination.

I began plucking random ingredients in search of a happy distraction.  Collecting everything around my cutting board I sliced scallions and chopped celery, adding them to chunky flakes of tuna fish with a dollop of mayonnaise.  Slathering this simple summer sandwich spread between oversized whole grain crackers and vine ripened tomatoes, I crowned them dramatically with cheese broiled to bubbly brown perfection.  Perched at my island, I scoured the area for a new distraction.

Noting the fine coating of sawdust from a new remodeling project and the intermittent path of children’s footprints snaking from each door in unchoreographed paths around the furniture and to the stairs I determined this task took precedence over the pantry. I vacuumed and then steamed in my trademark nonsensical pattern of strokes that inevitably makes missed opportunities as obvious as well intended endeavors.  At this I sat down for one of those slow, slightly maddening laughs.  Near to tears I couldn’t escape the irony of my efforts.  For all my false productivity, procrastination seemed determined to mock me.

I am back in the pantry, avoiding the rest of the house.

dirty secret

March 22, 2011 § Leave a comment

I schedule daily domestic duties for Tomorrow so that every morning I gain an extra day of procrastination, sweeping my deadline under the proverbial rug.  When company becomes unavoidable I panic and throw myself, miserably, into a frantic effort to create the image of the life I plan to lead one day soon.

Today was Tomorrow.  I flew through my home powered by caffeine and the threat my imperfect housekeeping habits would be revealed.  The vacuum purred, the toilets sparkled, and I became a sweaty, nervous bundle of good intentions.  By the time my company arrived my home felt eerily unlived in.

Moments after returning home from school my children created a ripple of clutter in the wake of my cleaning that seemed to balance the cleanliness with comfort.  The misplaced shoe and trail of crayons seemed to scribble to anyone looking: Welcome, please be careful, Mom just cleaned.

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