chain reaction
April 18, 2012 § Leave a comment
Today I attended a presentation at my son’s school where students were challenged to actively nurture a school culture based in kindness, compassion, and respect. Challenges included looking for the good in others, setting goals, choosing positive role models, and embracing forgiveness.
The presentation was based on the life of Rachel Scott, a young girl whose life was cut short in the tragic school shooting at Columbine High School on April 20, 1999. Throughout the video presentation Rachel’s family members and peers paid tribute to a young girl whose words of wisdom and good deeds left a legacy of kindness in the wake of tragedy.
Rachel’s Challenge strives to replace acts of violence and bullying with interpersonal connections and goals. I celebrate any endeavor to inspire children to act in kindness and dream big. As a parent I believe we teach by example and I embraced this opportunity to identify ways in which I could model each challenge at home.
The first challenge asked the students to Eliminate Prejudice by looking for the best in one another; setting aside first impressions or unkind thoughts to actively look for the good in others. I tend to identify things I admire about others, friends and strangers, but the speaker cited an example I had not considered: people who bring out an instinctive negative response. I considered people whose company makes me feel negative and challenged myself to display kindness towards those individuals I tend to withdraw from.
The second challenge is to Dare to Dream by keeping a journal and setting goals. I honor the theory that we draw dreams into reality by visualizing them and mapping our journey to fruition. In this way I celebrate encouraging children to give voice to their dreams. Even I could substitute I will for I wish; using language to claim accountability for my goals.
The third challenge is to Choose Positive Influences, drawing on positive role models for success. I am fortunate in that I am surrounded by friends and family who inspire me. As my children’s role model I must consider how my choices and language communicate success. Where in my life do I set aside goals for comfort?
The fourth challenge asked students to use Kind Words and show Little Acts of Kindness. I am challenging myself to be mindful of overlooked opportunities to be kind, bad days when I sacrifice my best for good enough.
Before ending the presentation the speaker asked the audience to close their eyes and envision a time when they had acted unkindly, to own that moment, and move past it in forgiveness with intent to act in kindness. The speaker also asked those treated unkindly to let go of feelings of anger weighing their spirits in negative emotions. Then we were all called to leave old harm behind us and move forward.
The final challenge was to start a Chain Reaction, demonstrate kindness and pay it forward. With that in mind I am sharing these simple thoughts and challenging anyone reading this to consider how they might become a link in a universal chain of kindness in words and deeds.
normal needs
April 25, 2011 § Leave a comment
When my son was seven, he gifted me a moment of insight that guides me as his mother. With wisdom and self-awareness beyond his years, he said to me: I know that I’m different and I like who I am, but I don’t like it when other people make me feel different. This moment wakes with me each day.
His sharing came during a difficult time. A year into a diagnosis that had begun to help my husband and I better understand our son’s various behaviors and needs, we were finding our footing while our son was struggling to find his. Social challenges made school days difficult, our son navigated the expectations of his teachers as mindfully as he absorbed the weight of unkind jests by his peers. Our son was looking for belonging and acceptance without conformity.
In moments of adversity I frequently return to a personal truth, special needs are extraordinarily normal. Virtues like patience, kindness, and tolerance should not be reserved for special conditions or occasions, they should be the standard by which we live every day. From this place we are all equal and anything is possible, our differences as normal as our needs.
sticks and stones
February 10, 2011 § 1 Comment
When we are little, adults encourage us to dismiss hurtful words, to brush off unkind sentiments like powdered snow on pant legs. Still, feelings are bruised sometimes before we recognize the wound. Other times we lash out in pain creating new wounds. These sticks thrown in anger or defense land heavy with the weight of stones.
Momentarily lost to hurt feelings some hurl unkind thoughts with an unintentional belligerence similar to indiscernible curse words muttered over a stubbed toe. Hurt and anger radiate outward creating secondary wounds. The victim inflicts new pain making sorry too small a word to bandage two wounds.
When sorry doesn’t fit we stretch our thoughts to cover the space between injuries; each person sharing in the hurt, bonding broken feelings with understanding and compassion. If not properly cared for the wound does not heal in good health, but scars leaving ugliness.
Pain is unavoidable in a life filled with unknown challenges. People are fallible; words hurt and cannot be unspoken. Healing is something shared, a nurtured kindness.
scribblechic 