in writing

June 16, 2013 § Leave a comment

Ever endeared by the promise of a postmarked envelope, I have come to find them more meaningful on uneventful occasions. Too often a holiday creates an expectation of grand acknowledgment, one that overlooks our flaws and celebrates only our accomplishments.

I thought of this first on Mother’s Day when my husband’s card to me was filled with repetitive reassurance of my strengths as a mother and my family’s good fortune. I thought of it again last night when pressed to create a similar declaration of exceptional parenting for Father’s Day.

Here is the thought that chased around my script – parenting is a bundle of mistakes and mundane moments sprinkled with remarkable moments of love. We don’t memorialize our errors, rather we hold tightly to ideals of perfection.

I am grateful everyday for the traditional trappings my husband’s busy days provide. Our home rests in a safe neighborhood and between our walls we are blessed with comforts that are a privilege. Our children do not want for food and they are clothed in warmth.

Still, as parents, most of our greatest gifts to our children have come from moments of colorful, noisy mistakes or discoveries that undermined our assumptions. We gather our individual flaws into efforts to model strengths for our children to learn from, each day a new beginning in a love story centered in a commitment to be present.

To my husband,

Thank you for the everydays between, before, and after the holidays; the grand gestures of love and the everyday routines that build toward our future. Thank  you for growing from your mistakes and giving us room to uncover our own lessons. Thank you for modeling a man whose footsteps our son can grow into while walking beside you and for demonstrating the kind of man we can hope our daughter might one day find in a young man’s friendship. Thank you for being perfectly imperfect and uniquely ours.

Love, Me

father’s day

June 18, 2011 § Leave a comment

One of my first images of my husband as a father, was that of his large form filling the space of my hospital room doorway.  A travel bag packed in haste, bulging with miscellaneous necessities was slung across his chest while a camcorder bag swinging from his other shoulder created a large X across his freshly starched dress shirt.  Around him a colorful halo of balloons made his progress at once both cumbersome and celebratory.  His face was a mask of pride, fear, hope, and love.

He was by my side through both our children’s labor and deliveries, but this singular moment seems to best capture his spirit as a father.  By nature he is a happy soul, playful and outgoing.  Like the balloons that followed him into the room, he often brings a sense of celebration to a simple event.  The bag packed in haste seems to best represent his eagerness to care for those of us closest to him.  The camera toted safely aside the necessities to record the moment true to his desire to create tradition and roots as a father.  His face filled with his deepest emotions, radiating love so that you could read it in the dark.

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