scribblechic

I woke up today very conscious of two simple truths.  First, other people’s opinions should not be the standard by which I judge my own accomplishments.  More importantly, my children are not my accomplishments.  There are a multitude of other truths, but these two were palpable in the early morning hours and I needed to create a space in which to better see them.

Even in adulthood I often pause and look to someone I trust to critique what I know.  When their opinion validates my own, I feel a sense of accomplishment.  On the occasion I find myself caught in disagreement, insecurity casts doubt.  Right or wrong, so much of my own peace and joy rest outside my mind and heart.

My children bless me with countless moments of joy, intermittent with doubt.  Am I doing my best?  Could I have done something else, made a different decision?  Are my children handicapped for my hindsight?  I am learning that so many of their strengths and challenges are their own and my role as their mother is not to fix their world.  Each accomplishment is their own, just as each challenge must be met with their determination not the momentum of my ability.  I am trying to celebrate their stumbles as lessons and their success as part of their greater story.  I am learning complexity offers a richness that builds confidence as much as character.

These words are my release; an effort to lay my early morning thoughts in an open space.  Motherhood and friendship have given me a unique love that nurtures these moments of reflection.  I am trying to own my challenges, find balance, and embrace joy.