scribblechic

For years my daughter favored an inexpensive pair of black mary jane dress shoes. So well-loved were her shoes that she would fill in scratches with a black permanent marker until we were forced to replace them in a new size.  Recently, my daughter has outgrown old favorites, creating a new experience.

Not one for shopping, I appealed to my daughter’s love of playing dress-up and we set out to try on new favorites.  I met my match in creative opposition over a pair of shiny, black knee-high boots that seemed to scream “not old enough.”  I am sure my daughter heard my doubts clamoring noisily in my head.

Stubborn, she stuffed her feet and baggy pants into the boots and paraded around the display tables.  Eyes sparkling, she gauged my reaction, clearly anticipating a no.  Instead, I countered and caught her off-balance.  I said yes.

Once home, I embraced her new exercise in independence by outlining appropriate clothing choices for her new look.  Together we felt around blindly at new boundaries.  We broadened our choices from color and size to embrace self-respect and self-expression. The following day, dressed in her boots and an outfit I approved of, my daughter’s feet barely touched the ground as she walked to school.

Hand in hand, my little girl thanked me for her boots.  She said they made her feel respected.  I listened, entranced as my daughter opened up.  My yes was really a  validation of my daughter’s independent spirit, and an exercise in trust.  She knows I am listening and I know she hears me.