scribblechic

In one of my earliest posts I acknowledged a need for an unidentified something new in my life.   I remember quite clearly wanting to name it, but feeling more comfortable leaving room to change my mind.  I am a bit of a not needer, compulsively attaching not to wishes or ideas, creating a paused possibility with a comforting cushion of permission to fail.  Somewhere underneath my excuses though, is a frustrated perfectionist with poor self-esteem.  Recently, I got tired of not trying and decided to take a chance.  After years of excusing myself from efforts to run, I decided to try.

I began by making the committment to myself and then sharing my desire with a friend as a source of accountability.  I identified a program that would help me take safe steps toward reaching my goal with clearly outlined daily objectives.  Accountability and a program were the tools I needed to commit to running.  I tend to create a goal without taking time to identify a plan; sabotaging my efforts and good intentions.  Clear daily goals with a limited time commitment to running have created balance and focus for my efforts.

Accountability and a plan in place, it was time for action.  The first few efforts were simply fun and encouraging.  Small goals with brief intervals of running and comfortable periods of walking gave me the confidence to return each day to a new goal.   Then came what I deemed an impossible day.  The goal seemed outside the realm of my capabilities and doubt nestled by my side.  I paused, but ever goal conscious, tried and succeeded.  There is no greater feeling than doing something you did not think you could.  I am still trying.

This is the lesson I have gained from this new challenge; make room for something new and create a place of possibility.