scribblechic

Cornered by insecurities, anxiety heightened, I raise my defensive walls and stew.  Normally.  Today, as I felt the first waves of tension tug at my body I refused to sacrifice the sunshine.  I scattered my stress to the wind on a walk and breathing in the fresh air evaluated my survival strategy for weathering unkindness with integrity.

We all have individuals in our lives that draw on our positive energy leaving us tired and wounded.  I had created a habit of hiding from hurt, immersed in indignation.  In the moments leading to an uncomfortable encounter every nerve of my body becomes alert and defensive.  Realizing this my sense of security felt false, my emotions more aggressive than defensive.  I was arming myself with anger and making room for negative energy in my mind and heart.

Not liking the image of myself this cast I challenged myself to discard hurtful thoughts and to be firm and reasonable in placing boundaries.  I am struggling a bit, feeling vulnerable as I remove the familiar comforts of my protective walls and looking more closely at my own thoughts.  I am trying to surrender peacefully, in search of harmony.

Tagged: Defensive, Surrender