fireworks and forgiveness
July 3, 2011 § 1 Comment
A neighborhood 4th of July party gave me lazy, happy hours among friends and a moment of raw awareness with my son. My guard down, I had settled into the festivities when my eye caught my son’s face. Angry, emotional sparks snapped at the air around him. I drew him to me and guided him to a quiet corner of our guests’ home. Slowly I acknowledge new, painful truths for my son and myself. He isn’t okay and neither am I.
In angry accusing tones my son lashed out at peers for perceived unkindness and at me for not defending him. In fairness to the children, his anger was not born of their behavior. In fairness to my son, I could not give him the fierce defense he sought. We sat, side by side, separated by equal parts pain and grief.
The moment passed and we parted, each resigned to our own hurt. My son withdrew into a space of his own and I let my own frustrations spill in a wave of need to a friend, her compassion allowing me a cleansing release. The remainder of the evening passed without fireworks, but forgiveness for things we cannot control weighs heavy on my heart.
scribblechic 
My motherheart tightens in sympathy for both of you. How difficult…all around.