scribblechic

Yesterday morning I walked my daughter hand-in-hand down our tree lined street to the cozy elementary school nestled in our neighborhood to meet her new teacher for the coming school year.  It is the first time we have walked to school without her big brother.  Mindful of my son’s absence, the sidewalk felt too wide without his company.  Memories of years past were ever-present with each new step.

My son is transitioning to Middle School and this milestone has brought both anticipation and anxiety.  While he moves towards a new experience his sister is lonely for the shared space of their school days.  Mealtimes are peppered with her concerns for his absence, what was theirs has become her own.  No longer identifying herself as her big brother’s sister in school, the shade of his company has left her feeling exposed without his shadow.  She will do well, the change will soon become familiar.  She is adjusting.

Mornings will begin earlier, this is an unavoidable challenge given my son’s difficulty falling asleep at night. Waking early today in preparation for the week ahead, our movements felt forced; my son seemed to sleepwalk, awkwardly stumbling through simple tasks.  I immediately longed for familiar mornings of pancakes and play time before school.

One more day.  In the morning my son will find his way to the bus stop and join his friends and classmates.  No longer will he walk two steps ahead of me with his nose tucked into a book.  It is both exciting and terrifying letting go.  I smile, breath held, and guide both children toward change.

Tomorrow new routines will create new normals for each of us.  Today backpacks and new shoes sit by the door as quietly as our hopes and fears unspoken.

Tagged: Change, Routine, School