habits of memory
September 15, 2011 § 2 Comments
My grandfather was my unspoken favorite, I tagged along behind him unintentionally overlooking the woman hanging laundry, standing at the kitchen counter, or placing jars of tea in the sunshine. I found my grandmother’s friendship after we lost my grandfather.
Uprooted from her home and alone, my grandmother was a sad stranger. I was lonely in my father’s home and found my way to her door. Stepping inside her living room, I always sought my grandfather’s image over her television, setting my compass to North by the warmth of his smile. I didn’t realize it was my grandmother’s company that centered me.
I accompanied my grandmother on errands, sat beside her in church, kept her company when she was unwell; there was a comfortable quiet between us. We filled endless hours with collective moments of extraordinarily simple habits. There were always baked goods cooling on a table and a book resting half finished on an armrest. I find her company still, long after our last conversation ended, in familiar everyday habits like folding laundry, baking, or sitting with a book.
The other day, I found a smile among crumpled tissues. My grandmother was forever tucking tissues into the wrist of a sleeve, her blouse, waistband, pocket, or palm; these tiny markers would tumble recklessly behind her leaving a path and creating a smile. Little things, tucked inside old habits and stirring happy memories.
scribblechic 
I’m happy that Grandma had you for company. I always felt a little like I lost both Grandparents when Bumpa died and Grandma moved away. We weren’t given her new address and I wasn’t sure how to get in touch with her. The tucked tissues made me smile and I remember her in many of the recipes I make today.
Sue, your words are filled with kindness. It is very generous of you to express gratitude for the relationship I inherited in light of your own grief. There was so much loss, gifts of happier memories are blessings.