walking the talk
October 13, 2011 § 2 Comments
I tell my children to stand up for themselves, but stood quietly in the background when uncomfortable with the idea of confrontation. Trusted friends nudged me out of my comfort zone. Sometimes the measure of a true friend is their willingness to tell you what you need to hear rather than what gives you comfort.
Recently both of my children have experienced a moment of unkindness with a peer that was presumably a friend. In each instance I told my children they deserved to be treated with respect, but did not model for them how we ask for respect with words and actions. I was all talk. Confiding in a friend, I was challenged to speak up and walk the talk.
I have since approached each parent of said children with wobbling knees and a pounding heart. Despite rehearsing in my mind what I would say, in each instance the script was forgotten in the moment. I held tightly to one message: this behavior is not acceptable.
It was uncomfortable; impossible as it was necessary. I was torn between my own hurt feelings and the other parents’ feelings. I imagined how I might feel if the roles were reversed. Mistakes are a part of growing up. Still, how do we help our children if their mistakes are sheltered and lessons lost? I hope my efforts help both my children and their peers learn and grow.
My children are unaware of my conversations, but I stand a little taller knowing I did more than talk the talk, I walked the talk.
scribblechic 
Well done. I know exactly how you feel. I am forever avoiding conflict and sometimes conflict is just the very thing that reveals grace and love. I kinda hate it when that happens.
Thanks! Each time I uncover the painful life lesson hidden beneath a difficult moment I shake my head and think “of course, there you are.”