company & clarity
November 10, 2011 § 2 Comments
Cool winds have swept us into a season of Thanksgiving. I have been mindful of my blessings, but recently while planning for our traditional turkey meal I felt the distraction of disharmony tugging at my consciousness. Negative thoughts unspoken encroached on my spirit; stubbornly I shoved the unwelcomed sentiments beneath the proverbial rug until I tripped over my thoughts. Then I set aside my blessings, guarding them from dismay, and called my unpleasant thoughts into consciousness naming them like petulant children. Anger came quickly.
I have welcomed guests into my home in the name of etiquette and family obligations, allowing resentment to slip through the door. Old wounds sit freshly salted; resentment chafes at gratitude. Self-righteous, anger seemed to mock my false sincerity.
I am trying to allow myself forgiveness for my anger and permission to feel discontent. This brief exercise in naming and claiming responsibility for my unkind thoughts reminded me of a book I once read, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford. The ugly emotions simmering beneath my gratitude were poisoning my thoughts. Giving my feelings light and air has brought me peace.
Rather than assume new injuries or dwell on old hurts, I am looking ahead to Thanksgiving with a new consciousness; expectations centered in awareness and responsibility founded in acceptance of imperfect relationships among imperfect people.
scribblechic 
This is beautifully crafted. And such a wonderful reminder for everyone.
Thank you! I hope writing this will hold me accountable to these thoughts.