scribblechic

This small word has been chasing tirelessly though my thoughts all week. I recently became aware my son needs greater support at school. The realization and acceptance of new challenges has brought into my days both uncertainty and hope for what comes next.

I say uncertain; not of my son, of myself. I am more comfortable a safe distance outside conflict, now I must sit inside conflict. Seeking the council of others who have had to ask for support in the space of middle school, I have been forewarned of potential resistance and advised to accept nothing less than excellence from administrators, educators, and therapists. My son’s education rests on these moments of possibility, his potential for success in school rests on my success in preliminary meetings as we define needs and outline support.

Guiding me through piles of paperwork is an advocate with experience aiding families of children on the Autism Spectrum in the heavily coded language of Individual Education Plans. Yesterday I received a new e-mail walking me through my next meeting. I hold onto this woman’s words like a life line, aware I will soon sit at another conference table faced with the responsibility of speaking up in a space I feel uncertain and where the stakes could not be higher.

I will ask for evaluations I did not previously know my son needed in a language that feels new on my tongue. Guilt over my previous ignorance breeds shame. To build confidence I have begun researching the evaluations I must ask for, studying what I do not understand. I carry with me new knowledge and a standard of accountability based in awareness. I draw strength from another’s words:

When you know better you do better. ~ Maya Angelou

Hope for a better future and knowledge lead me forward. Consciousness opens the door, but intention guides me into a place of possibility.

*It is important to note that while this blog represents my perspective, my husband accompanies me on this journey. Due to the early morning scheduling of our next meeting, I will attend the meeting while my husband prepares our children for school. It is a decision we made together.  I speak with one voice, but I am mindful that my husband is my partner in this ongoing endeavor. 

Tagged: Education