before we say goodbye
December 15, 2011 § 1 Comment
My husband and I try to honor a handful of well-intentioned rules we made as newlyweds. Among them is a simple promise to say something nice before we say goodbye. Some days it is a rote I love you. and other days it is an intentional sharing. On days we disagree or accidentally hurt one another’s feelings we are more conscious in our efforts. The gesture is forced by an unspoken awareness that each time we part we may not see one another again.
This act of love has been a part of our lives together for so long I cannot draw into consciousness its source. It could be our son’s premature birth made us mindful of the fragility of life and our blessings. It could be the experience of witnessing the tragic loss of 9/11 in the media as a young married couple with an infant child. Certainly unexpected tragedies in our friends’ lives have kept our eyes open to loss and mindful of the blessing of time. However it began, our parting words are a priority.
Last night, we learned a family in our community lost a loved one. I looked at my children and realized that in another house there were children learning they would not see a parent again. In a sudden, tragic accident another family woke up today without the opportunity to say I love you. In the face of such tragedy it is easy to say that loss makes you appreciate that which we have, but I challenge myself to identify how I express my gratitude for my blessings.
If I were not home tonight to read bedtime books and kiss my children good-night, if I couldn’t share in the events of the day with my husband, if I couldn’t call my mother to share a funny anecdote about my children… would my family know they were loved? Would my heart and mind be at peace with our last goodbye?
In place of resolutions to improve myself, I am contemplating how I might extend my goals to encompass how I love. Brainstorming new ideas, critiquing old behaviors, and lingering over impulsive acts. I don’t have a perfect answer, but I am resting in this moment and trying to consider what I say, how I act, and those I love.
scribblechic 
Oh, how devastating. I wish for that family peace and love. And, of course, I wish the same for you.