scribblechic

Yesterday, on a beautiful fall day in the company of a dear friend, I endeavored to capture a moment from my family’s present for all our days to come with a series of photographs. Walking under a blue sky along tree lined paths I forgot so many of the things I had intended to remember, collections of images I wanted for my walls. Instead I found hidden blessings in temporary challenges, the imperfect moments between photographs lending perspective.

From the very beginning my son’s preteen mumblings felt like a wet, wool blanket chafing our nerves and suffocating smiles. In the moment I wanted for him to tuck his discontent aside and find his peaceful place in our company. Only later could I give thanks that I can hear his temperamental testimonies to life’s transgressions against him. In sharing his anger and hurt, our son is talking to us, challenging us, reaching out towards the very people who love him. I miss the ease of his early years, but I recognize the growth unfolding in difficult lessons as he stakes his independence.

While our son pushed away, our daughter charted her own course. These past few years challenges have made her hesitant, uncertain. She tends to hide from cameras while ironically inside the camera’s lens doubts fall behind her, leaving only room enough for the most genuine pieces of her spirit. Mischief and wonder, joy and love are weighted in eyes unblinking. I gather these pieces so that they may peek from corners of our home, reassuring my daughter of unspoken strengths.

When Grouchy and Mischievous uncovered fallen sticks beneath golden leaves a duel was inevitable. The flash of humor behind the challenge an unmistakable acknowledgment of an ongoing power struggle between siblings. Each clash of their wills echoed a hidden message, despite the appearance of conflict there is a safe space between them.

My husband and I lost to our son’s moods and our daughter’s whim wanted an easy togetherness that evaded us between glorious shades of autumn. Instead we were reminded that experiences are not always simple, often contentment hides beneath a messy unrest. Unscripted and unedited our lessons are wrapped within challenges that are sometimes out of focus. And always, even on the most difficult days, our family are those who see us at our most imperfect, loving us unconditionally for our best.

Tagged: Family, Musings