note to self
March 15, 2013 § 7 Comments
Most days between the layers of busyness are quiet insecurities. I am unkind to myself, silently. Yesterday, watching my children unwind from the routine of the school day into themselves, their interests and humor, I caught myself marveling at the unassuming brilliance of their self-assurance. In the safe, non-judgmental space of our home they glow with a playful and unpretentious confidence.
I wonder where my children acquired these gifts? I am too careful with my joy, too calculating in my risks, too aware of my imperfections. Most days I race between moments, measuring my value against impossible standards. By day’s end I am tired and feel misplaced.
Today I determined I would set aside the nagging doubts and worries that cloud my light. With a headache tugging at my attention and slowing my movements, I pledged to spend the hours I am alone walking in my children’s footsteps. I am practicing compassion by permitting myself unproductive minutes to heal the persistent throbbing in my head. I am gifting myself small indulgences of time and care to create joy within discomfort. More importantly I am finding occasions to be kinder to myself.
Today I am Enough. Without bullying myself into productivity or criticizing failed accomplishments, I am inviting possibility and peace. I want to see myself with the same frame I see my children, an image filtered by love.
scribblechic 
I hope you and your children are having an awesome and loving day. With a great mom like you, I know this is happening. Thanks for sharing.
Thank YOU for the generous compliment. Hope you have a lovely day, too.
You are so welcome! http://www.segmation.wordpress.com
Hope you got rid of the headache. Thanks for reminding me to take care of myself and go easier on myself. Such a hard thing to do.
Tiny remnants of my headache are lingering and evidence of tasks left undone are everywhere, but I am trying to be gentler with myself. You are correct, it is difficult to do. I just keep reminding myself that I cannot tell my children to be kind to themselves while I contradict my message with inconsistent actions. Hope you are kind to yourself, you deserve it.
“I want to see myself with the same frame I see my children.” Easier said than done, but I hope you succeeded.
Thanks!