integrity & intelligence
May 16, 2013 § 12 Comments
Yesterday my husband and I met with our daughter’s teachers and support staff in the familiar space of the quiet conference room. Our company was familiar. Years of similar meetings for first our son and later our daughter have created an intimate relationship with individuals whose lessons extend beyond the tiny chairs our children occupy.
Gathered around the table under the formality of evaluating growth and assessing needs for the coming school year I was humbled that our measurements began with character. Despite a year of steadfast academic growth, we acknowledged the standard of kindness, compassion, and resilience that are hallmarks of my daughter’s identity as an individual.
Stories of thoughtful acts and an eagerness to learn overshadowed the confetti of graphs that documented performance. Integrity a greater marker for success than measurements of intelligence; effort greater than ability.
This little girl, who so desperately wants to sit among her peers without her invisible differences, has yet to realize that the most beautiful pieces of her are the differences she does not see.
scribblechic 
What a wonderful way to start a meeting.
To know they see my daughter in her complex entirety was the most rewarding reflection of their individual, professional efforts to nurture her as a student.
Chills came over me as I read your words. ❤
Thank you! I might have written more, but my heart kept interrupting my thoughts.
‘Kindness, compassion and resilience’ are innate character traits that are all down to your daughter and the lessons that she learnt from her parents. Not necessarily the points that are graded, but nevertheless the points that matter. You should be rightly proud of your little girl.
Thank you! We (parents) instruct our children in character at home, but to know that these lessons accompany them in our absence and guide them in complicated moments through difficult choices is a great source of pride and reassurance. Equally important, in my mind, is the ability of others to acknowledge and celebrate these character traits alongside more measurable academic skill sets.
The phrases “familiar space” and “years of similar meetings” says a lot. They indicate an unshakable presence and support. Your kids are very lucky, and if they don’t already know it, they will someday.
If my children had not been born with special needs I would never have met so many of the compassionate and talented individuals who share our school years. In so many ways, we are the lucky ones.
Your daughter sounds like an amazing little person, no doubt thanks to her amazing parents 🙂 But it also sounds like you have a good support system for her (and your other children) at the school and that makes such a difference!! Must have been a proud moment for you to start a meeting with such positive words 🙂
This is so essential – beginning from a positive perspective. Recognizing the best in others allows them to rise to their best potential.
Thank you for the thoughtful compliment, I am happy to share credit with my daughter and her teachers.
As an educator with over 30 years now behind me it’s clearer than ever how little the silly grades convey. As a parent for the past 22 years I’ve come to value instead the anecdotes…
My favorite meetings are sprinkled with “I have a story to share…”