remembering this
June 21, 2013 § 6 Comments
In the earliest hours of the day, before I was ready to dangle my toes from my dreams, my thoughts were nestled in my son’s experiences this week. So often I guard him, ever mindful of challenges that seem to shadow our days, but this week I found myself giving him space to explore his environment and excusing myself from the fallacy of controlling what I cannot. In letting go and gifting my son small exercises in independence I found reasons to believe in his ability to move confidently and capably through his day. In challenging my son, I reaffirmed my own ability to trust in each of our strength.
To my son,
I wonder how you might remember this week. Would you recall the freedom of your brief walk between downtown stores on a warm day? Maybe you will hold tightly to the sense of accomplishment in venturing out on a simple, solitary excursion with money in hand and time to spend. Or perhaps you will recall finding a place among another family visiting an unfamiliar pool, a stranger among strangers, temporarily belonging to another family’s company. Will you dwell in the adventure that accompanies walking towards an unknown or revel in the sense of returning to what is familiar?
For my part I will remember the moment of unhinged fear as I let you go, immediately measuring the potential for harm with hands folded in an unspoken plea that you would succeed. I kept out of sight, pledging to trust in things unseen, only to steal a glimpse of your retreating form as I peeked from the doorway. Most importantly, I will remember the sight of your gangly form returning, the cadence to your step with your shoulders pushed pridefully back, eyes smiling.
This letting go and holding on is always new. Each success lends comfort to the next challenge, building confidence and granting reassurance. Please remember I have become so accustomed to your company that I, too, am finding my way into a space without you; knowing that in time, you will map a future defined by your own choices and actions. You were meant to find you own path and these first steps are a timely reminder that motherhood is an act of faith spoken in a language of love.
Love, Mom
scribblechic 
Each little piece contributes to a beautiful mosaic 🙂
Pieces of shared experiences held together with love.
One of the parenting mantras I live by is the quote by the late Southern journalist Hodfing Carter. “There are two things we should give our children: one is roots and the other is wings.” Giving roots is easy, giving wings much more challenging.
A beautiful and appropriate quote. Thank you.
Hey it was tough letting my daughter ride around the block… magnify that 10 times and I feel your written words…nice!!!!
There’s a moment between letting them go and waiting for them to return when fear and joy exist in equal measure. I imagine our children share this balance of exhilaration and apprehension as they round the corner to independence.
Thank you for adding your memory to mine.