thoughts unsaid
July 16, 2013 § 8 Comments
Lately I feel caught in the uncomfortable uncertainty, or perhaps certain uncomfortableness, of my son’s teenage experience. As his limbs lengthen and voice deepens, I am forever looking toward the little boy beneath the awkward mannerisms while my husband endeavors to outline the man our son will become.
to my boys,
There was a time the heavy tread of the father was followed by a hurried, muffled thumping of little feet. An eagerness in sound and space to fill the footsteps that loomed larger than life. As those tiny feet have grown into their own path, you meet toe-to-toe in conflict; demanding respect while quietly yearning for understanding.
I see a man with the sensitivity of a child lonely for his little boy and a child confusing freedom with respect, seeking equality without the experience that informs authority. I stand in the periphery of your experience as father-son, balancing my promises to partner in parenting alongside my need to nurture.
I have an expectation we have only begun to experience the growing pains that accompany this age. Self and selflessness, family and individuality. These are the years we draft silent promises in contradictory spaces, boundaries that hold us tightly together while outlining freedom.
This is my promise to stand between you in love with compassion and patience, respect for what we share and faith in the beautiful differences between us.
scribblechic 
I wish all parents could respect and cherish the differences between them!
Sometimes the very qualities we cherish in one another get cluttered by emotions that disorient our actions and words.
I think the clue is to be aware of the emotions that may disorient actions and words then, right? http://www.segmation.wordpress.com
Interesting link. Yes, I would agree empathy nurtures healthy communication.
Beautiful post. I don’t have children so I can’t relate, but it seems like the bond between a mother and son is an evolution through time and situations. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Agreed, but then I suppose all relationships evolve as our experiences challenge our assumptions and create new lessons.
“I see a man with the sensitivity of a child lonely for his little boy.” That’s it, in one sentence. You’ve captured the daunting challenge of parenthood: To remain steady and consistent while also being fluid and adaptable, all the while watching your son or daughter lurch back and forth between need and independence. It’s an impossible job, and I’m sure you’ll do it well.
I used to stumble between my husband and son trying to translate actions and words into borrowed perspectives. More recently I have stepped aside allowing them to navigate conflict in hopes they will listen more closely to one another. This choice has given me a new understanding of and respect for the unique dynamics of their relationship.