may be, maybe not
September 2, 2013 § 3 Comments
I may be wrong. Maybe not. Most of my greatest lessons came at the cost of my pride. Uncomfortable conversations and misguided intentions are usually tinged with emotions that color conflict with shades of self challenging me to see beyond the feelings cloaked in language.
I am less comfortable with conflict than I am my errors; my stomach in knots and heart in my throat I tend to retreat behind words studying a circumstance for clarity, trying to catch images of truth in a faceted experience reflecting prisms of personality.
Recently I stepped outside the comfort of contemplation into conflict. Reflecting on words spoken rather than written, I wonder at the error of insinuating over absorbing; interjecting in place of observing.
Still there are moments when speaking up for self or others mandates wading into discomfort. This past week I have attempted to speak through my emotions, words heavy with worry and pride. I have invited criticism and judgment for choices guided by little more than my gut.
My lesson has been one of humility. In each experience I may have been wrong, but I may be right. Time will speak to my choice, but I have come to understand it isn’t enough to think clearly, we must also endeavor to give voice to the certainties of self that inform others.
In much the same way I instruct my children to use their voice to identify their values, ideals, and boundaries, I, too, must be willing to speak up even at the cost of conflict and error.
scribblechic 
Reblogged this on Growing Pains.
Sometimes other people change their attitudes or behaviors based on something we said. So it may later appear as though you were wrong, but if you hadn’t spoken from the gut, you may wish you had. Maddening, isn’t it?
Yes! Maddening is a perfect summation of my emotions. There is so much vulnerability in following our gut.