hypocritical oaf
September 26, 2013 § 2 Comments
Capturing pieces of my experiences among words I endeavor to be true to self without inflicting injuries to others. It is ironic then that the words I do not voice are the source of recent unrest, the contradiction between intentions and emotions creating an internal dialogue that begs forgiveness for wounds uninflected but whose harm slumbers in subconscious unrest.
I have outlined errors from the safe vantage of my perspective while erring in judgement as I trip over emotions into the messy business of blame. Anger and disappointment undermining patience and tolerance. Indignation chasing humility demanding to be heard. I coddle frustrations with patronizing tones of harmony, tempering my emotions with logic. Life isn’t fair seems an overused, insincere simplification for small tragedies of injustice.
Today I am giving myself permission to hold tightly to the uncomfortable emotions that have been clamoring noisily between exercises in forgiveness and acceptance. Allowing myself to hold each unpleasantness gently, relaxing my guard against unwanted thoughts to better see uncomfortable truths. Naming and releasing, owning each emotion to make room in my mind and heart for tolerance and hope.
scribblechic 
I think before we can forgive, accept, tolerate, or hope, we must acknowledge it for what it is. We should allow ourselves a moment to feel whatever emotion is provoked before we can turn to healing. Easier said than done sometimes. 🙂
I agree. Perhaps my greatest challenge is acknowledging emotions without getting tangled in a reaction I cannot unravel from so that I might then move forward unencumbered.