yesterday’s tomorrow
November 21, 2014 § 6 Comments
The past has tumbled too quickly into the present. I stacked my hope into milestones, one toppling into the next until the momentum of my experience misplaced the art of intention.
I have been thinking on this all week, standing stubbornly outside the normal pattern of my days. Lately optimism seemed an effort too cumbersome to contort around my worries. The heaviness of helplessness chaffed against the memory of another self, one who smiled more recklessly and leaned forcefully into the unknown.
Lost in the shape of my days, I began to map a path to self in the company of others. I interrupted my routine with invitations to old friends and new; planning for joy in such a way as to still myself in anticipation and dislodge the dread that had been chasing after my footsteps.
The pieces of self I could no longer avoid clattered against my consciousness and I became, once more, the architect of my intentions. Crafting yesterday’s tomorrow, today.
scribblechic 
Sounds a little familiar!
Familiar to your experience or my musings? I have a tendency to circle a theme as I sound out emotions and find my way.
Oh, my experiences for sure…
But I can see some confusion in my comment..
I simply try to live in the “moment” to avoid this yesterday/tomorrow thing happening, but crikey, doesn’t that need some practice…
Take care sweetie, Baz
I’m glad to hear it takes practice, the alternative would be quite discouraging. I am also grateful for the commonality of our diverse experiences that you found a thread of self in my stumbling. Thank you!
At times we do find ourselves missing the ‘us’ we used to be. It is often pure joy to allow ourselves to become reacquainted. That said, there are always two considerations.
First the former selves we imagine are not always the ones they really were as we tend to juxtapose our current values, knowledge and wisdom onto our younger looking selves, forgetting that that former self was inexperienced, less skillful and dogged by the knowledge of unknowns hat have since revealed themselves to us.
But, second and more importantly, we often fail to give credit to the things we have learned along the way. Sure, our former selves seemed more happy, more carefree but the part of us in the here and now has grown more skillful, wiser and is in all likelihood the better person 🙂
Great points, Maurice. Sometimes the momentum of my days creates a pace for which I am more reactionary and less intentional, in this dynamic I loose a more genuine expression of self.