mind body
January 2, 2015 § 4 Comments
There is an unwanted voice in my mind that interrupts my comfort with unkind whispers. Insecurities that exaggerate my flaws and dwell in criticism. It is a voice I would not use to address another and yet I give this companion residence in my heart. My mind debates the manipulations with logic and well rehearsed messages of unconditional acceptance for personal imperfections, but confidence fails me still. This morning, curled into a cloak of gentleness I am tempering the quiet battles with care; an unhurried cup of coffee in a quiet house, clothing so soft it falls weightless on my frame, a naked face and freshly washed hair. Little indulgences that bind me to a sense of delight; a letting go and coming to.
scribblechic 
Your comments remind me of some habits that I hope, at least, that I’m moving slowly away from. So I’m curious (wondering about common origins): did you grow up around people who were hard on you because they dreamed of high achievements for you?
Your question is both interesting and perceptive. The simple answer is yes. The more complicated truth is that my natural tendencies, introverted and sensitive, exacerbate any early experiences – tethering me to standards I alone am responsible for maintaining.
That’s intriguing because I’m introverted too. I’m always surprised anew to discover how widespread my/your story is. It’s strange, though, because I always note it, but I realized today that I rarely talk about it with the people who occasion the observation.
What about you, is this an old conversation for you?
It is a familiar conversation, yes, but a welcome recognition.