sandcastles & schedules
January 13, 2015 § 2 Comments
This past week we began the process of choosing classes for our son’s coming academic year, stacking the prerequisites and sifting through electives. The dialogue that accompanies this effort is staggering, assumptions and expectations distorting perspective.
To my son,
As you arrange your goals for the future into choices, remember that building dreams around an academic schedule is a little like building a sandcastle near the surf; change will sweep across the landscape of your building blocks undermining the most architecturally sound design and demanding you draft new plans.
Adults, educators and parents, speak in heady hypotheticals and hypocritical certainties; what ifs and statements of if this, then that. We portray academic performance as a precursor for success and happiness, but I have known too many people for whom this was not sustainable to promote false promises.
You may do well academically and that performance may help you to attend a school which may afford you a career you enjoy and a generous income. You may not.
As we look to the choices for the coming year, I want you to hold tightly to the language we use to discuss opportunities over certainties. No matter your intelligence or accomplishments, success is a matter of effort and opportunity; one is not exclusive of the other and neither guarantees certainty.
Instead, I’m gathering hopes for the character of a life you are shaping.
I hope you pursue academic interests that spark passion, but I also hope you try something unexpected; sometimes we have to venture past the familiar to recognize certainty. Begin now. Choose experiences that will challenge your knowledge and stretch your comfort zone.
I hope one day you will find work that sustains your dreams, but I also hope you find work that will sustain the expense of your reality. It is hard to dream when your head is congested with worries. Save well and spend wisely.
I hope your days have a purpose that feeds your sense of worth and connects you to your community with meaningful contributions. Divide your time and attention in a manner that creates balance.
I hope you surround yourself with individuals who measure wealth without monetary markers; things cannot fill the spaces of our heart or mind. Guard those relationships that are founded on mutual respect and void of materialism.
Whatever you study or aspire to become, cultivate the person you want to be first and allow that certainty to inform your choices.
Love, Mom
scribblechic 
I don’t know why, but this one brought me to tears. Perhaps because I have one child that rocks academic success and another who struggles. “Effort and opportunity”–wonderful point that I will share with both of my sons.
Kay, sometimes the words I most feel my children need to hear are the very balm my spirit needs to speak to feel whole. In these lines I am as much claiming my consciousness as I am endeavoring to guide my children’s attention; we are tethered by a string of ache and joy, dreams and needs that are one language.