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Wednesday our daughter lead us through her school, sharing the space of her routines with hands on demonstrations of learning. Student lead and thoughtfully orchestrated by educators and administrators, each classroom presented a unique snapshot of school day experiences. We were able to look at lessons and play classroom games, review work and visit with teachers while our daughter was afforded an opportunity to articulate ownership of her effort.

It was not a time to check in on performance or address concerns; so I was pleasantly surprised when a teacher volunteered a more personal exchange with a meaningful interruption.

At the time, our daughter was bent over the work of a math equation. Her posture was casually confident as she ran through the problem step-by-step in a conscientious execution of mastery. It was while she was working eagerly through a second equation that her teacher paused to offer praise.

It wasn’t the privileged acknowledgment of a child to whom learning comes easily, her teacher offered statements of recognition for the resilience of character and the work of progress. Credit for thoughtful enthusiasm and earnest effort for comprehension; perseverance to establish mastery despite struggle.

My husband and I hadn’t realized that the work our daughter was modeling was  a source of accomplishment beyond a correct solution. Our daughter had been flexing a new muscle.

Strong Girl,

When you asked to be dismissed from the supports of special education services, I was proud of your courage; secretly though, I worried you might have leapt prematurely toward independence.

Math and Reading were still areas of concern. Knowing this I asked you to be responsible for seeking help and acknowledged the importance of mastering difficult skills. Then, as all parents must do, I let go.

When you fell apart last week over projects, I worried you were struggling. I inferred need over ability. 

Then, this week, you reminded me that progress comes imperfectly; that mistakes and determination add up to strength. Struggle isn’t always cause for concern, sometimes its cause for trust.

Love you.

Mom

Tagged: Daughter, Learning, Musings, School