strength in softening
January 6, 2017 § 3 Comments
There have been years past when the muscle of January’s resolve was built in rigorous physical effort. I wrestled post-holiday lethargy with exhausting exercise routines and swapped left-over sweets for restrictive meal plans. These were self-imposed limitations; I need hard boundaries and tidy markers of progress to carry me past preventable distraction once the novelty of my interests wear thin.
This year I’ve been exercising a different muscle.
Rather than chase an exterior image of health or pounding the pavement in a new direction, I’ve nestled into the sometimes uncomfortable practice of stillness; breathing into an intention of submission and softening against the hard edges of experiences I cannot control. I expected the generosity of self-care in this practice would make the act of stillness simper, more peaceful.
I was wrong.
In the moments when I am tired or anxious, I move with the hollow muscle memory of a sleep walker; pacing, snacking or reading my way into distraction. Like a child with their hand in the proverbial cookie jar, I see myself caught; breath held, body tense, mind racing to catch up to this particular moment.
I’ve had to turn my routines upside down a little; sometimes, literally, standing on my head to shake up my thoughts. I’ve swapped out coffee for tea and traded speaking for listening. I’ve started stretching when I itch to pace and filling my lungs with slow, intentional breaths when I’m tempted to consume empty calories.
Relaxing my muscles rather than muscling through.
I did not expect there would be so much action in stillness, so much strength in softening.
scribblechic 
Ha! So much action in stillness! So much bravery in Rest
Bravery in rest – yes! Moving against the grain of activity and accomplishment for a gentler practice of self-care. Personally, I need both; the challenge is recognizing and prioritizing those needs in harmony with my values so that my actions (or stillness) are in alignment with my intentions.
It is an amazing thing to find Marie. Such heartfelt understanding is the teaching of us in its discovery 😀