scribblechic

In so much of parenting, success is a bit of a mystery. We see the difficult consequences of perceived error, but the evolution of accomplishment is not always confined to the tidy measurements of academics. Character is something we craft from challenges, not ease.

Our son is struggling in a particular subject, one I could not fathom performing myself. It is a class he has chosen for himself, work he has struggled through alone. By all accounts he is succeeding in his college preparatory choices, failing at mastery over material.

Our daughter is forever eschewing those interests others deem valuable to her future in favor of her own less notable interests. Recently this created a rare opportunity for her to mentor another from a place of ability in an exercise I had undermined by over-valuing the paths not taken.

Tonight as I juggle a poor grade and unexpected messages of praise, I’m thinking of the way we speak validation and encouragement for personal success in moments of struggle. The ways in which we parent for character over accomplishment and the work of recognizing the difference.