parenting character
September 21, 2016 § 2 Comments
In so much of parenting, success is a bit of a mystery. We see the difficult consequences of perceived error, but the evolution of accomplishment is not always confined to the tidy measurements of academics. Character is something we craft from challenges, not ease.
Our son is struggling in a particular subject, one I could not fathom performing myself. It is a class he has chosen for himself, work he has struggled through alone. By all accounts he is succeeding in his college preparatory choices, failing at mastery over material.
Our daughter is forever eschewing those interests others deem valuable to her future in favor of her own less notable interests. Recently this created a rare opportunity for her to mentor another from a place of ability in an exercise I had undermined by over-valuing the paths not taken.
Tonight as I juggle a poor grade and unexpected messages of praise, I’m thinking of the way we speak validation and encouragement for personal success in moments of struggle. The ways in which we parent for character over accomplishment and the work of recognizing the difference.
scribblechic 
Ah, parenthood. Nobody mentioned the maze of teaching in their upbringing, let alone the differences in gender and a thing called independence that suddenly rears its head when least expected.
Just do it with love Marie, because I think the more we try to fight a situation, the more it either pushes them away or builds a low self esteem because they think they are not doing it right or not good enough.
One word comes to mind…balance. But I dare anyone to get it ‘right’…it is such a fluid beast 🙂
Just follow your heart, it at least gives a signal in the many scenario’s that life throws at us 🙂
Nodding my head to your wise words. Yes to the maze of teaching, to the risk of being pushed away and the danger of fostering low self esteem with unnecessary criticism. Yes to the fluidity of the beast (gorgeous prose) and to the internal signal that guides us through the densest fog. Yes, yes, yes. Love this.