dressed down
September 20, 2016 § 5 Comments
In cultivating a new wardrobe for work, I had time enough to play at dressing up; fitting room productions of curious costumes for uncertain scenarios.
I slipped into elegant pencil skirts and feminine dresses, sharp slacks and pristine blouses. High heels and kitten pumps, practical penny loafers and functional ballet flats. The combinations were endlessly entertaining and mildly exhausting.
I wondered briefly at who I might have been had I ordered my choices differently; turning appreciatively to gauge the stranger that seemed at once both familiar and foreign. Store clerks acknowledged these alternate versions kindly, but I could only weather the work of each effort with disjointed appreciation.
I felt less myself without my feet braced barefoot for balance or fabrics gentle enough to accommodate my tendency to curl into a ball. Beautiful pieces were lost to the hair I more often let fall and the face I prefer washed clean.
For all the years I might have wanted to feel beautiful or sexy, I am most myself undone; happier outside the attention of dress and lost more peacefully to my thoughts.
I wonder if we ever outgrow the art of playing at self. Perhaps I have failed colorfully at growing up by too casually dressing down.
paper dolls
July 18, 2011 § Leave a comment
My daughter intentionally separates her sock pairs to better create a perfect match for her personality. If she doesn’t like an article of clothing, it will go unworn fading into the background of her closet. Her body is her canvas and she will not project anything outside her comfort zone. This makes shopping with her terrifying. We agree on a few simple rules: words do NOT belong on the part of your anatomy used for sitting, short shorts and skimpy shirts are OUT, and if it feels uncomfortable it is unwearable. This said, we have different opinions on the use of glitter and color pallets. I prefer something more conservative and my daughter likes to color outside the lines. Add to our dilemma my daughter’s dread of retail clothing stores; the crowded fixtures looming at every turn like shadow monsters at bedtime.
As August approaches with the promise of a new school year and my daughter’s limbs stretch beyond last year’s well-worn, outgrown clothes I embraced a new shopping style. I gathered catalogues from familiar clothing companies and tore out images of clothing that I liked, creating a shopping collage. I then scattered the images across our kitchen island and encouraged my daughter to shop the pictures. This hassle free approach has inspired a moment of fun frivolity without the frustrations of previous shopping excursions. Like paper dolls of my youth, my daughter is fitting the colorful clothes to her form with play.