scribblechic

There was a time (high school) when I couldn’t put our house phone down. In fact, for a while I believe it counted as an appendage. Twenty years later, I don’t want to pick it up.

It isn’t malicious or lazy, I just don’t connect as clearly over the phone. Perhaps it is the awkward pause that sometimes occurs with my cell phone or the absence of expression. It could be the telemarketers and political calls that come to our house phone or the phone itself’s poor clarity. Instead, I have become a compulsive messenger. I make plans in e-mail messages and text messages to gather with friends where I can see their expressions and focus on the conversation without the distractions of my home.

There are three exceptions, my husband and two children. No matter where I am or what I am doing, if I hear my phone I look up to see if they need me. My  own emergency red phone, a direct connection to three individuals whose well-being is directly reflective of my own. When we are together, I dismiss myself from a sense of obligation to my phone and center my attention on those same special souls. It isn’t that I don’t love my friends, on occasion I will collect a call when my house is restful and my family otherwise occupied.

Now then, as long as we are on the subject of phone use, I have a few personal no call zones. I try not to talk in my car, in a store, at a restaurant, in a school, doctor’s office; in a public space. I have crossed this boundary on a few occasions for my husband, son or daughter; on a rare occasion, for a friend.

When did I stop depending on my phone to connect and when did it become okay to carry conversations that are personal outside our home? I wonder this largely when I become witness to a conversation of which I am not a participant in the course of my day. This isn’t a new thought. My boundaries are not unique. In fact, I hope this is a conversation we all have at home.

To those friends for whom the phone does not ring, I hope you know that your worth cannot be measured in cell phone minutes. Leave me a message, I’m listening and I will call back.

Tagged: Cell Phone, conversations, Family, Friends, Musings