nesting
January 9, 2012 § 2 Comments
A little over a year ago I scribbled curiously and cautiously on the barren walls of my blog. My thoughts mere ramblings, disconnected and directionless; I plucked ideas and words from the corners of my mind like old toys stored for safekeeping, unused and unshared. I began to unpack my thoughts, drawing them into my days and placing them gingerly where they might be shared. Slowly, I have welcomed family and a handful of friends to read my ramblings, met strangers whose words resonated among mine. I have come to think of this space as my own and in that transition from an inconspicuous private writing to a personal exchange among friends, I have begun nesting.
Seeking a more personal setting for my thoughts, I typed the words blog design into a search engine and sifted through endless pages of results for something simple and affordable. I was happily surprised to find something charming early in my endeavor. I purchased what I considered a tailored slip cover for my space, something crisp and fresh that promised a quick makeover. I soon came to realize how much I did not know. I spent a lost evening staring at my CSS and messaging a patient designer. The entire experience was humbling and I quickly set aside my template, feeling apologetic and incapable; not wanting to burden the designer with my blatant ignorance.
Wistful and overwhelmed, I continued my search the way some doodle images in the margins of notebooks. Scattered moments of free time were lost to design dreams. I edited my search to encompass assistance. The results were many, but I found myself returning to one site finding myself at home among the images. I gazed lustfully at colors and patterns in much the same way I longingly extract a beautiful item of clothing wanting to slip into its shell, but conscious of the cost and impracticality of the indulgence. My husband, aware that I do not spend recklessly, voiced a willingness to gift me the experience of working with a designer for my space. Torn between enthusiasm and a feeling of guilt over something self-indulgent, I moved forward carefully guarding my joy.
My initial decisions were divided between style and personality. Completing my request for assistance I looked to the collection of designers, their portfolios, and their personal blogs trying to find a voice and style that felt familiar. I was searching for someone who would understand me in the impersonal, fragmented notes that collectively outlined my wishes; a stranger that could befriend me and lead me through a series of choices among which I would find a picture of myself.
As I receive edited samples to my future site, I attempt to scribble thoughts that might contextualize my opinions. The voice on the other side of my letters has been patient as I sketch with words my lifestyle, personality, comfort level, concerns, and dreams. We are still exchanging letters and sifting through choices. I am embracing this experience of creating something new in partnership with someone new, opening myself to each choice and absorbing the experience wholeheartedly. I am both anxious and eager to settle my home and invite you to join me.
scribblechic 
Anxiously awaiting the housewarming! 🙂
Beautiful. I can’t wait to see your words expressed through your new design.