zero tolerance
March 5, 2012 § 2 Comments
This phrase has been chasing through my thoughts all weekend. Like the chorus of an irritating tune the melody is chaffing at my spirit and the words have become bitter on my tongue.
Last Spring my husband and I sat among a community of fifth grade parents listening to our children’s future middle school principal discuss a Zero Tolerance policy towards bullying. The message we received was that this academic institution demanded respectful behavior, accountability for poor behavior, and consequences that reinforced these values. I remember my husband and I simultaneously nudging one another, a brief acknowledgment of a shared sense of relief that our son would be safe from the habitual teasing and unkindnesses that had haunted his elementary school experience.
In elementary school social behaviors that identified my son as “different” were often used to explain and validate other students’ unkind behavior. My son was marginalized by peers and criticized by adults for demonstrations of individuality. By the end of our son’s fifth grade year our family was eager for a fresh start, an opportunity for our son to be accepted despite differences. The message of Zero Tolerance buoyed our hopes.
Returning home the evening of our middle school orientation we pulled our son aside to share the good news that his new school would be a safe place, reassuring our son we were on the verge of a new beginning. This Fall, we carried these promises with us on our son’s first day of sixth grade.
This weekend I met with a parent after their child voiced concerns over unkindnesses they witnessed toward my son. As we spoke I became aware of events outside my son’s experience that left me frightened and angry for the culture of bullying that is being tolerated in our children’s hallways, classrooms, and bus rides. The silence of victims and witnesses speaks volumes, contradicting and hollowing out empty promises of Zero Tolerance.
The question that I am struggling to answer is this: How do we as a community begin to purge the toxic messages of hate and the abusive messages of tolerance for bullying that are being taught during our children’s’ school day with passivity?
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Tagged: Bullying, Musings, School
scribblechic 
The only way people are ever going to rid bullying is to take back the control in the schools. Schools respond to money. If there is an issue with bullying and the school is not handling it to the parents satisfaction, they need to be ready to pull their child. Enough kids leave the PS system and eventually they have to look at policy. Sadly, people would rather look the other way and pretend it isn’t happening.
I have heard similar arguments, each centered in communicating dissatisfaction in a language whose message is measured in dollars. For now I am trying to learn the language of school policy and work to educate children, teachers, and community members.
I am eager to learn if other’s are facing similar fights and open to suggestions as to how different communities are addressing bullying, hopeful that these children and our community schools can evolve.