scribblechic

There are moments of injury, unintended, whose wounds create tiny cracks in a smooth facade. Sitting in my daughter’s classroom for curriculum night my heart swelled with tiny injustices. As the teachers outlined cleaver ways to incorporate writing, reading, and math facts into the home environment to nurture skills that create academic success my head spun with my daughter’s reality. Sitting nestled between her peers’ parents balanced on tiny chairs around neatly gathered desks I felt the discomfort my daughter has so often expressed experiencing in her classrooms. The sense of otherness that creates embarrassment and shame, suffocating joy and challenging confidence.

The teachers encouraged us to use math in practical settings and in moments of stillness. Similarly they invited us to have our children write letters and make lists to practice writing. I wanted to raise my hand and proudly site each instance of such practice in our home, to celebrate our love of learning. Instead anger and shame licked at my mood, it seems unfair that my daughter who is never without a book, a pencil, or a quick calculation stands just far enough behind her peers to feel the shadow of failure before the light of success.

I guide my daughter with words of encouragement and unwavering faith in her abilities, keeping my own frustration reserved for these moments of written reflection. Until curriculum night. Rather than tuck my emotions beneath polite conversation I drafted a letter to my daughter’s teacher outlining my daughter’s efforts and expressing honestly and openly our shared frustration in search of compassion and patience.

This year will march forward with new challenges and old frustrations, but I am making room for friendship in our partnership between home and school. Just as my daughter’s teachers outlined simple activities to nurture academics, I shared simple gestures of kindness to foster greater emotional support for the little girl hiding her fears behind a tiny desk. Making the impersonal, personal.

Tagged: Daughter, Musings, School