theories & relativity
October 24, 2013 § 2 Comments
In countless ways my children are honest barometers of my behavior; they mirror conduct and echo language, question boundaries and underscore inconsistencies. Wise in the uncluttered wisdom of youth, they challenge me with their uncertainties as they explore the world around them forming independent beliefs relative to their experiences.
This past weekend my son intentionally stationed his laptop in the space next to mine under the pronounced pretense of keeping me company while we completed independent tasks. Once our computers were stowed to the side, he asked if I thought our use of technology validated Einstein’s theory that humans might substitute personal interaction for the convenience of technology.
He phrased his question in such a way that it sounded to my ear as if he were quoting another, who in turn was attempting to quote Einstein. The reference had the tone of a profoundly prophetic but suspiciously false statement; a subtle manipulation disguised as fact. I chose to look beyond the accuracy of the quote, holding tightly to the question beneath the reference relative to the child challenging a theory with his observations and beliefs, experiences and values.
A seeker of truths and scientifically minded soul who is a passionate advocate of technology, my son moves through his days hyper-attuned to social mannerisms with the practiced but clumsy authority of one immersed in a second language. Social skills are frequently a source of frustration, exhaustive and contradictory. Technology more often offers an escape from the muddled gray area of social behavior. For my son to introduce the subject of technology as a substitute for social interaction while subtly demonstrating with his behavior an appreciation for my company over screen time was a moment worthy of pause.
There were no cookie cutter categories of correctness, no trite summation of the conflict or tidy balance of pros and cons. There were, instead, instinctive reactions to and interpretations of appropriate use of technology. Our questions were fluid and our answers open-ended.
In light of our conversation I find myself more consciously choosing the company of those in my presence, challenging myself to maintain a mindfulness of the delicate balance between intimate personal exchanges and the enrichments afforded our experiences through responsible use of contemporary conveniences; more in tune to my children’s perspectives as they hold a mirror to my choices relative to their questions.
scribblechic 
I read this while on the way home from picking two of my three attending uni. Daughter came along for the ride…well, she actually came along to get a Frappuccino I suppose, now that I think about it 🙂 I had to make a few stops on the way home and read the post while waiting for oldest son to pick up his guitar from the shop where he’d had a little work done on it. Your interaction with your son reminded me of many exchanges I have had oldest son (the one inside the music store). Despite being a fair bit older, he’s 22, he has never lost that innocent love of the physical world and still, to this day, raises questions such as those your son raised. Whenever he does I always find myself smiling.
One the way home the very beautiful “Wake Me Up” (Aloe Blacc) was playing on the radio and daughter started ‘singing’ along in sign language (signing is something she is learning in her spare time at school). I smiled again to myself, and, once again, thought of the exchange between you and your son. There are so many opportunities for contact in this world and can we let too many get away if we’re not careful.
The everyday exchanges that punctuate the most mundane moments are often the ones I dwell on in my children’s absence; grateful for the questions and curiosities that linger long after they’ve left the conversation for a new activity. Sounds like a perfect, ordinary afternoon with plenty of exceptional moments between errands.