tech support
August 26, 2015 § 4 Comments
It was a predictable problem. Take one new student, place them in the company of children navigating the distractions of online social media, and you have crocodile tears and a self-righteous indignation for the contemporary convenience of cell phones in the unstructured space of the school day.
Today I listened as my daughter made a case for banning cell phones from her school. I paid close attention to her self-awareness when she acknowledged it would be worse to be the girl who took away everyone’s phone than it would be to sit ignored. I waited as she circled sadness and frustration for her to sound out the core of her unhappiness and then I invited someone wiser to offer a new perspective.
Given the source of my daughter’s unhappiness I holstered my phone, resisted the ease of e-mail and returned to school. Mom to educator and administrator, I asked for suggestions to ease the loneliness of our transition. In the space of a half hour we considered how technology use can sometimes be misunderstood; that a child disappearing into a screen may want an excuse to look up. We also considered that it is easier to assume “everyone” is using tech than it is to search out those who aren’t, but we balanced these possibilities by acknowledging the emotions of feeling ignored or left out then brainstorming active ways my daughter can facilitate a more rewarding experience with support.
Tomorrow my daughter is going to purposefully look for peers who aren’t online and she’s going to be more tolerant of those who exercise the choice to connect in a way different from hers. She’s going to hold tightly to her choice, but she’s going to respect other’s right to choose differently. More important than arguing policy from a perspective biased by a singular opinion on a difficult day, she is learning how to advocate for her needs in a way that makes happiness a product of her actions rather than a reflection of her environment. She is learning how to ask for help and how to extract insight from obstacles.
My children are growing up at a time when technology and social experiences are creating new lessons in communication. It is unreasonable to eliminate technology and irresponsible to make it a scape goat for accountability. It is a learning moment.
Tonight I’m thankful for complicated choices that invite greater consciousness for how we use technology and for the individuals who support us in real-time, offline.
theories & relativity
October 24, 2013 § 2 Comments
In countless ways my children are honest barometers of my behavior; they mirror conduct and echo language, question boundaries and underscore inconsistencies. Wise in the uncluttered wisdom of youth, they challenge me with their uncertainties as they explore the world around them forming independent beliefs relative to their experiences.
This past weekend my son intentionally stationed his laptop in the space next to mine under the pronounced pretense of keeping me company while we completed independent tasks. Once our computers were stowed to the side, he asked if I thought our use of technology validated Einstein’s theory that humans might substitute personal interaction for the convenience of technology.
He phrased his question in such a way that it sounded to my ear as if he were quoting another, who in turn was attempting to quote Einstein. The reference had the tone of a profoundly prophetic but suspiciously false statement; a subtle manipulation disguised as fact. I chose to look beyond the accuracy of the quote, holding tightly to the question beneath the reference relative to the child challenging a theory with his observations and beliefs, experiences and values.
A seeker of truths and scientifically minded soul who is a passionate advocate of technology, my son moves through his days hyper-attuned to social mannerisms with the practiced but clumsy authority of one immersed in a second language. Social skills are frequently a source of frustration, exhaustive and contradictory. Technology more often offers an escape from the muddled gray area of social behavior. For my son to introduce the subject of technology as a substitute for social interaction while subtly demonstrating with his behavior an appreciation for my company over screen time was a moment worthy of pause.
There were no cookie cutter categories of correctness, no trite summation of the conflict or tidy balance of pros and cons. There were, instead, instinctive reactions to and interpretations of appropriate use of technology. Our questions were fluid and our answers open-ended.
In light of our conversation I find myself more consciously choosing the company of those in my presence, challenging myself to maintain a mindfulness of the delicate balance between intimate personal exchanges and the enrichments afforded our experiences through responsible use of contemporary conveniences; more in tune to my children’s perspectives as they hold a mirror to my choices relative to their questions.
scribblechic 