tech support
August 26, 2015 § 4 Comments
It was a predictable problem. Take one new student, place them in the company of children navigating the distractions of online social media, and you have crocodile tears and a self-righteous indignation for the contemporary convenience of cell phones in the unstructured space of the school day.
Today I listened as my daughter made a case for banning cell phones from her school. I paid close attention to her self-awareness when she acknowledged it would be worse to be the girl who took away everyone’s phone than it would be to sit ignored. I waited as she circled sadness and frustration for her to sound out the core of her unhappiness and then I invited someone wiser to offer a new perspective.
Given the source of my daughter’s unhappiness I holstered my phone, resisted the ease of e-mail and returned to school. Mom to educator and administrator, I asked for suggestions to ease the loneliness of our transition. In the space of a half hour we considered how technology use can sometimes be misunderstood; that a child disappearing into a screen may want an excuse to look up. We also considered that it is easier to assume “everyone” is using tech than it is to search out those who aren’t, but we balanced these possibilities by acknowledging the emotions of feeling ignored or left out then brainstorming active ways my daughter can facilitate a more rewarding experience with support.
Tomorrow my daughter is going to purposefully look for peers who aren’t online and she’s going to be more tolerant of those who exercise the choice to connect in a way different from hers. She’s going to hold tightly to her choice, but she’s going to respect other’s right to choose differently. More important than arguing policy from a perspective biased by a singular opinion on a difficult day, she is learning how to advocate for her needs in a way that makes happiness a product of her actions rather than a reflection of her environment. She is learning how to ask for help and how to extract insight from obstacles.
My children are growing up at a time when technology and social experiences are creating new lessons in communication. It is unreasonable to eliminate technology and irresponsible to make it a scape goat for accountability. It is a learning moment.
Tonight I’m thankful for complicated choices that invite greater consciousness for how we use technology and for the individuals who support us in real-time, offline.
scribblechic 
I feel your experience echoes the sentiments of so many other parents, even those who have not undergone a recent move. The “abilities” that electronic communications offer us are so very complex, and not things that can, or should, be classified as either “good” or “bad” they are, as you have pointed out, instead things that need to be evaluated in light of the many, many other mitigating circumstances. Often they are an enhancement but, so very often, they prevent us from participating fully in the moment.
Your school year starts so early! Here in NL we await the Wednesday after Labour Day, September 9th. Not necessarily a bad thing as July was particularly bad here with constant rain, drizzle and fog. At least in August we got some reprieve.
I would prefer a later start; ideally we would utilize a year round calendar, but that’s another conversation. Technology is a tool, a resource we can choose to use with respect. It’s here to stay and I think the lessons to come will be invaluable to all.
Ah, yes, the technology. My children both have cells and have since they were old enough to travel away from home without me–whether on bikes or by foot. By and large, they are quite respectful of the use. My daughter has had a few friends move away and her cell phone is her link to them. When we moved her, some 10 years ago, it was wrenching for my 10-year-old son. We installed his own landline in his room so he could call his best friend whenever he liked. So, technology has it’s uses. BTW, my son is now 20. His friends come over and hang here with their faces stuck on their screens. I always give them a hard time.
Catching up on your posts. I always enjoy them.
Whenever I am quick to criticize, I remember the hours I spent draped across a sofa lost to endless conversations with my high school best friend or, later, my husband. I want my children to pick up their phones and choose to nurture an intentional connectivity, but I also want them to consider where they use their phones so that they are mindful of their environment and the individuals around them. It’s all a balancing act.