boundaries & burdens
November 13, 2013 § 2 Comments
Yesterday a misunderstanding between my son and a peer created worries that crawled under my skin, an irritation of thought that unsettled my mood. I gathered my certainties and uncertainties trying to analyze the burden of blame and map personal boundaries. More than the moment of misunderstanding, I was torn between instinct and intellect. The need to defend my son and respect my most intuitive assumptions of his character were challenged by the reality that his age comes with expectedly unexpected irrational and extravagant errors of self-expression.
This morning, while I waited for word of resolution, I considered the unspoken messages of motherhood that accompanied this experience from the vantage of my absence. In letting go I was silently announcing my faith in my son’s ability to navigate others’ uncertainty; to speak for himself and respect another’s perspective essential skills to this age of clumsy expressions. In respecting my son’s boundaries and honoring his burdens I held tightly to my sense of his character; reaffirming a quiet confidence in the little boy who moves with an eager gait towards independence.
Looking ahead to our evening routine I am curious to hear my son’s interpretation of his experience without expectation of interference or assumption of my authority, but rather with a greater consciousness for his ability in the space of his day.
scribblechic 
Transitioning from the all-present boss to the gentle advisor on the sidelines is one of the changes we all need to make as parents. It’s never easy, and it is, I suppose, a process that will never end. You have done a wonderful job here of illustrating one of the milestones. In a related way, I hope things work out with a sense of grace.
The transition was worthy of note, but I also wanted to embrace a willingness to invite fallibility rather than the expectation of perfection. In this instance what began in blame ended in equal burden and growth; a graceful conclusion, indeed.