a lesson in self
May 7, 2014 § 10 Comments
Yesterday I had the opportunity to gather with strangers to discuss our community as mothers of school aged children with special needs. So I thought.
In fact, I met with mothers who were, are, accomplished professionals meeting with the intention of discussing business; the identity of their children secondary to our conversation. As the women introduced themselves, business cards identifying their area of expertise, I quietly pondered how I might identify myself and my place at their table without a professional identity.
Initially I tallied my insignificance with insecurities. I silently measured my worth by lengths of comparison that were as unkind to myself and those I presumed might judge me.
Tempting as it might have been in a fleeting fantasy to apologetically dismiss myself from their company, I invited my doubts to lunch and settled in to enjoy an experience that was a gift of error.
I believe fate is a marriage of opportunity and choice; yesterday three lovely strangers invited me to be present in a chance conversation, the opportunity and choice my own. Today I am reflecting on the space of self and the woman I am ever becoming in a community of women more inspiring for their diversity.
scribblechic 
Yay! Let’s just all notice the badass awesomeness of each other.
Absolutely! We are so much more collectively for the beautiful and complicated facets of our individuality.
I call that original reaction the “screaming meanies.” I try not to let them invade my brain but they are very persistent:). Glad to see you held strong against them.
Thanks, Kay! Love your playful and witty turn of phrase.
Glad the taking risks is paying off for you. Though you may not see it, I bet those three and others are being richly rewarded after contacts with you as well.
On a personal note, my youngest son’s IEP is next week. He was crying last night in his room, and after some coaxing, told mom that he does not want August to arrive, since that means a new school year–and he will lose his current first grade teacher. She is a former TSS worker and the bond the two share is inspiring. Though tears are tough to watching in little ones, I’d call the reason “evidence” of the success that he has had this school year.
Little victories are recognized here as well.
I hope my presence that day was purposeful or of service to another. I am happy to report that a day later I crossed paths with one of the women and felt a genuine sense of mutual appreciation in our casual greeting.
More importantly, thank you for sharing this tender moment from your son’s story. I hope you will create a place in the formalities of his IEP meeting to acknowledge this remarkable teacher and celebrate your son’s awareness. The success of their relationship is as great as anything we can chart or measure; perhaps greater.
I suspect that, professional resume or not, your insight and sensitivity are what all children need most.
Thank you, Charles. I think the greater lesson for me was that my burden of worth was self imposed; I was enough before I was less than.
Oh baby… that must have been tough at first. I know you do not need this but…. your writing ability stacks up against anyones skill set!!!! As a non-prof photog I was very intimidated to go on shoots with 99 percent of the shooters being professionals… until… I saw what they put up for critiques. I know I will never be at there level for sales and exposure but then again I shot for myself and find no pressure from their world or pace. I say right on (write)!!! 🙂
Thank you for lending empathy and perspective, Mike. I struggle against viewing sources of joy as areas of strength; cautious to gamble the purity of that affinity against a more calculated evaluation of ability.
Your images and the narrative of your work are remarkable. I take your kindness as generous praise.